MY AFFLICTION OF LOVE

Tired of not having that special someone for me

Someone to make me smile, laugh and be happy

Maybe all this right now is really meant for me

Because of my past actions

That left many hearts in fractions

She don’t like the site of me or even mention of my name

For who am I to play mind games

I was brain washed by the system

The one that calls women bitches and uses phrases like big pimipin

Had me thinking that love was a phat ass and a pretty face

I’ve had these but they left me with a bitter taste

Now I m more concerned about her character than her waist

Her conversation and education

Not just her pretty face

Does she have signs that she could be a good mother

Express her self openly and show kindness to others

My pen freezes up

I sit here stuck

Thinking if she exist and if I could really find her

I close my eyes and see nothing but pain

The world is crazy

I’m still looking for a queen to plant seeds and have babies

I know I’m a good man or maybe I’m not

And now is one of those times to act like I forgot

For God knows all things

And all I can do is trust

Ironically because this is what I want

A lover and a friend

One to whom my time and energy would see no end

I know it can happen

So I take time to clear my mind and prioritize

 Cleaning off my slate

Continue to improve myself, be patient and wait

33 Memories

It seems as only yesterday

Me and you up and out early in the morning

On the bus and on the train

Even during these times

You found ways to teach and mode my brain

From different colors and names of the trains

To the reading and writing workbooks where I practiced my name

Twenty some years later it still looks the same

Different buses and trains

But the routes remain the same

Except now I ride septa alone

With my I pod and earphones

Unconscious to the noise that goes on

These rides will always remind of me and my mother

As the bus passes Girard College

I think of my brother

Thinking of the first day of school in Center City

How we would bump into Ebony

And how she was so pretty

Moments like this you could never forget

Sometime we would play downtown

Bouncing through Strawbridge’s shopping and looking around

Even thou I was young and your son

The conversation and questions you would never run from

You treated me like a little man

Now I stand an older man

Grateful for those times and pressure from your public lesson plans

Who would have thought that public transportation

Could help form a unique relation

With my mother

I GOT NEW RULES

My vision has changed

I got new rules

Strategy now includes activities that better me

Having dreams of my feet running through foreign sands

Taking pictures in strange lands

Crazy stamps in my passport

Speaking in Spanish to the man driving me to the airport

Tired of being bound by the norm

You know college, marriage, debt and a life that’s boring

God gave us this entire planet for exploring

So I turn up the Mingus and light up

I have released the bullshit and living, learning and loving the best I can

I got new rules

Not thinking about who's who

Or the nonsense that appears on the tube

I stopped watching the idiot box and listening to the hip hop

I will miss the Lox

But their lyrics put a bad feeling on my spirit and I felt like I needed to carry my gun

No fun

Living with a unconscious stress level and waiting on trouble

I burst that bubble and take my life to new levels

Where color, money and status don't exist
My old style of being will not be missed

I got new rules

WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD I BE

What kind of man would I be

If I couldn’t stop doing the things that hurt things that hurt me

What kind of man would I be

If I couldn’t set the example for my nephews to see

What kind of man would I be

If I couldn’t find the strength to be all that I could be

What kind of man would I be

If I knew there was a whole community waiting for me to lead thee

And I do not respond

What kind of man would I be

If I did no take advantage of the opportunities available to me

That was not available to those before me

What kind of man would I be

If I did not put all I have, into all I want to be

I would be a nobody

Not helping anybody

I would not be much of a man at all

Growing Pains

I think of you in the morning

As I roll over and I m yawning

Flashbacks, day dreams of our past episodes

The way you smelled and how your touch sparked my soul

On long walks your hand I would hold

For I was your man

But sadly that was just part of my evil plan

For how easy it was for you to trust

After my spell of seduction and lust

You felt like you needed me

Please forgive my love

For my actions have deceived you

I was distracted by that pretty face

 Your lips and how they taste

The firmness of your ass and the delight of my hands

Grasping your hips

I look into your eyes

Such a compassionate glare as we share the energy of our souls

It is now that the truth unfolds

That the lust that drove my passion

Does not like romancing or slow dancing, with you

The reason I have no clue

Time has past and I feel bad

Grown and matured, I now know for sure

Your were a good woman, someone to adore

BLIND DEAF AND IGNORANT

Are we blind to the facts, deaf to the truth and ignorant of the past

I think not

Are we too concerned about what we got

Wanting to be a have, and not a have not

Do we not see schools with unsafe foods and teachers in bad moods

Our children’s test scores reflections of low aptitudes 

Do we not hear the reports and so called news

Laws being issued, politicians breaking the rules

How can we act as if we do not know

Then get upset when things don’t go with the flow

Have you studied the history of this great land

If so you are not blind to the facts

That the system is set

And its all about a check

Why travel to space

When there are Countries on earth that are not safe

With liberty and justice for all

But if you’re poor that doesn’t include you all

Predatory leading scams, payday loans and bank fraud

Don’t forget your six hundred dollar cell phone and when to use it laws

We build bases in places where young faces die

Imagine seeing death daily

So what are you going to do

I’m not going wait , and so I’m going  challenge you

To seek truth and express it loudly

Think out of the box, step out of the crowd

Now tell me what do you see

Do you still believe the lies that are being broadcasted on your TV

Please do not give into this fantasy

Read, learn, think

Always build your mind and guess what you will find

A new perspective of the world and a piece of mind

Where your vision is clear

Pollution and BS no longer cloud your ears

And your knowledge is revered

I lost my book

Have you ever had a special place
One to where you could go and your time didn't go to waste
I had this special place
Where I could go and no one could see my face
A place where my thoughts were not in a race
For this is MY special place somewhere I can be me

However this place I can no longer find
I stop and clear my mind
Back and fourth I go, memories wont let me go there
So many secrets I shared there
So what am I todo
I guess I start over and find somewhere new

Feels like so much has went to waste
A bad taste and empty feeling are the looks on my face
I spent so much time there
The feelings that I felt there no longer remains
NO REGRETS

I gather myself and begin to think of whats next
See I can find a new place and continue to express from within
It all starts with a new composition book and a fresh pen
Now I guard this place and recite the feeling here twice
The second is online where others can find incite to my mind

Where me and my books get looks and my words can delight and entertain the masses
See the new is better than the old
Bold and loud
I guess losing my book was not that foul

She's Bad

SHES BAD, I MEAN REALLY BAD

THE WAY SHE WALK, IS BAD

THE WAY SHE TALKS, IS BAD

HER WHOLE SWAG IS BAD

THE BAD I ADMIRE, IS HER BEAUTY AND DESIRE

THE BEAUTY OF HER SKIN

THAT CARMEL BROWN, WITH HER OH SO PLEASANT SMILE

THE DESIRE TO KISS HER LIPS, SO SEXY AND SWEET

THEY FEEL LIKE THEY WERE MEANT FOR ME

THE BEAUTY OF HER HAIR AND MY DESIRE TO TOUCH

SO SOFT THICK AND NATURAL AND HOW I DAY DREAM OF BEING NEXT TO HER

PHILLY SWAG CRAZY, YET SHE SO MUCH OF A LADY

HER DRESS GAME AMAZED ME AND HER CONVERSATION INGAUGED ME

SAYYING HER NAME DOES SOMETHING TO ME

SHES BAD I MEAN REALLY  REALLY BAD

SHES THE LAST OF A DIEING BREED

LIKE METH AND MARY SHES’S ALL I NEED

SMART AND WITTY, HIGH SCHOOL ONE OF THE BEST IN THE CITY

SHES GOT HER OWN AND DOSENT TRIP

IF SHE SEE’S SOMETHING YOU NEED SHE GETS IT

RAPPERS CALL HER A FIVE STAR CHICK

TO ME SHES JUST THE SHIT

WHEN I SEE HER I SMILE

I HATE TO SEE HER LEAVE, BUT I LOVE TO WATCH HER GO

THE BEAUTY OF HER FRAME DRIVES ME INSANE

SO FIRM AND THICK, THOUGHT OF MINE BE ON SOME OTHER SHIT

SHES BAD, I MEAN REALLY BAD

The rebirth

The words pulled me off my seat
The voice was sweet
But the words werent meek
I walk to the sound
And when I got there I found
Pure passion and creativity

My ears danced to the melody

My brain became paralyzed
As my eyes visualized the lyrics of her swag
Never in person had I have
Ones words massage my soul
So bold as she catches her breath
The silence
As I anticipate whats next

These few moments have inspired me
So now my pen and paper follow me
Allowing me the oppurtunity to be me
Free